The future is not ours to see?

I finally went to Kundalini yesterday! it was awesome! It wasnt really awesome, but it was awesome that I went and accomplished a goal I have been putting off for a few weeks. It worked out nicely because I had talked to the woman who was teaching already so I felt more comfortable and like I had a real plan to go! Now I know what I am doing every monday and wednesday. Tonight is the other class, but I got my moon (which was crazy late) finally and feel really tired and run down. So I will rest. I worked today for a few hours doing returns, I hung out on Rodeo Drive and Saks 5th Ave. I always feel like I look like a loser when I am in those places. I never feel dressed up enough, even if I am in just in a plain black dress and little ballet flats. Its like everyone knows im not meant to be there with a huge sign sticking out of my ass that says, “dont mind me, im just a PA, I will be out of your sight soon enough” L A M E of me to think, I know, but it’s true!

When Kundalini started there was music and chanting, and that was the one part that I didnt like. The chants of a language I dont know and saying things I maybe dont believe? Also the music, its so “every yogi” if you know what I mean. I then had this whole thought pattern of you and I making music for this type of practice, that we created together and we went on tour…you playing the music at these yogi festivals and me teaching classes and doing lectures. You doing lectures too, i think in my vision but hard to tell..Either way it felt so realistic. I always have had a vision of us teaching people how to love and accept themselves and others. I always thought we had to go through our shit to come out the other side healed then teach. Maybe its true for us, maybe not. Maybe its true for me? Maybe I meant to tell our story? Who knows. I would love to go on tour with you though and teach people about love! Gosh how cool?

I have had a vision of me for many years doing lectures, or speaking, or something where I am in front of a crowd talking. This is my future in some way, I know it!

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