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The excitement hits your chest like a sledgehammer breaking up concrete.

Your heart is pounding like a rabbit scratching its ear

Fear tries to scream at you to stop, urges you to turn around

You choose to ignore it.

You must see this through, you’ve gone this far,

there is no turning back.

Time to make the leap

Jump! Go for it! You can do it! You’re number 1!

Then comes the calm…

Everything feels okay

There is no more pounding heart

no more clammy hands

no more fear screaming in the background.

There is only SILENCE.

It drapes the room.

The awkwardness drapes the audience, shhhhhhhhh!

Congratulations, you did it.

Now please turn off your phone and enjoy the movie.

Moonrise Kingdom

“I’ll be out back……gotta find a tree to cut down..”-Walt Bishop aka Bill Murray

This past Friday the incredibly talented and one of my favorite directors; Wes Anderson released his new film Moonrise Kingdom. I heard about this film a few months back and was overwhelmed with excitement. There is just something about Wes Anderson’s films that really get me emotionally involved. No other films move me feel the same way his films do. This in turn makes me obsess and see anything Wes does.

As the film opened I felt the magic immediately. The way the camera flowed through the home of the main characters to the narrator filling us in on where we are, and who we are about to meet. It was Wes Anderson at his best and it was in front of my eyes. I don’t really want to go into too many details, because I want you to see the film, but I loved it. I felt like it was the perfect mix of The Royal Tenebaums, Rushmore and Life Aquatic all mixed together in one, but yet not at all. It had the vibe, if you know what I mean. I really did not enjoy Darjeeling Limited at all. It had parts I enjoyed and liked, but it didn’t feel the same as the other films. I love Wes Anderson and his mind because of how he makes me feel, and DJ didn’t have that. This film indeed did. So I urge you to go see it.

Here is a poem I wrote immediately after the film, I feel it sums it up best.

Moonrise Kingdom

A place of peace, love, surrender, honesty and most of all love.

Love can’t be judged by anyone else except us.

Age doesn’t exist.

Love comes in all forms, a cop, a teacher, a lawyer, a twin and even a coonskin hat.

They don’t know our passion, nor our electric connection.

Its us and only us under the stars.

A chance meeting one day, changed our lives forever.

Twelve or Twelve Hundred, our love is real.


From Philly to Cali, Cali to Philly...

Tonight I was driving through Hollywood and my iPhone was cruising through shuffle. I chilled through a few old songs; Neil Young’s ‘Harvest’, The Faint’s ‘Agenda Suicide’ and then outta nowhere Freeway’s ‘All My Life’ came on. I got excited, turned my stereo all the way up and drove through Hollywood rapping Freeway. I felt like I was 23 again driving around Philly with my girlfriends smoking blunts and just loving life.

This got me thinking about growing up and how odd it really is. I am 33 years old, ten years have passed since I was that girl in Philly, but somehow I still feel like her at times. I now really cherish those moments when the young version of myself pops her head out and has fun for a few minutes, or even an evening. When you get older things change. When you used to be able to go out at 11 and dance your ass off, drink an overwhelming amount of alcohol,  smoke blunts, then go to work the next day. I could never image doing so, nor would I want to, but that girl is there, somewhere.

What I’m getting at is that no matter how much we change, we still are us. Those little quirks still exist and sometimes we just need to let them out, just be a kid again. Kids just live presently. They just deal with life as it comes to them. There is no thinking about bills, or jobs, or family, its about now. The most I ever cared about was; where we all my friends were meeting and what time. Anything else was just a bonus.

I appreciate the wisdom and many valuable lessons I’ve learned over the years, but fuck it. Sometimes you just gotta turn the radio up and rap like a white girl.

My visit to Griffith Park

Today I was out running errands with my cousin and my little dog, Sofia. Sofia has been suffering from heart problems over the past few months. Its been hard since we moved to Los Angeles from the redwoods mainly because of the temperature. She has always been affected by the heat, but Humboldt never got past 70 degrees, and if it did the trees provided much needed shade. Down here in LA that is not an option. LA is a desert, dry and hot, two things Sofia does not need. Last month I found out she has a slightly enlarged heart, a murmur and a lung issue. These issues have made it difficult for her to go outside and exercise.

So today we went out and were driving around and I found myself at Griffith Park. I have gone here once before in the dead of summer and it was sweltering hot. I just figured we could drive around and look for a shady area to chill out for a bit. I was pleasently surprised to find this cute little walk way with tons of trees and shading along side a small creek. Its funny because my cousin Steve just moved here from Philadelphia and had just mentioned how he misses creeks, and bam! there was one right next to us! We decided to stroll down this lovely walkway and see all the beautiful sites.

It really felt like we got transformed to a tropical paradise. I completely forgot that I was in Hollywood, and pretended to be in Maui, or even Jamaica. I later came home and looked up this magical place, and found out it was Ferndell Nature Museum. I love that I went an outside museum today.

I think I found my new solace.

Here is a great article from LAIst with pictures and all!



Opening my 3rd Chakra

When I moved into my new apartment in Hollywood I met my new neighbors H & K. They were two girls, one H who is around the same age as me, the other the age of my roommate. I was delighted by the fact that I had cool girls living next door and hoping that one day we would all get to hang out and I would have a new friend in LA.

After talking with H for a while, I learned she was a practicing Buddhist. She told me of how her “church” gets together and chants. Automatically I felt excited about that. I always had the feeling that I should be chanting, but never really knew how to start. I have started chatting OM but I knew there was something more. So yesterday I was chatting with H and she told me she was joining her other friend to chant today, and I was invited if I wanted. I accepted the offer and got excited about my new awakening to be had.

This morning I woke up peppy and ready to go chant with my new friends. We walked into this woman’s house in Beachwood Canyon and chatted a bit about their religion. I never really thought of mediation or chanting as religious, even though it is. I was raised Catholic and that was always too religious for me, so I guess Ive trained myself to think this is different; its not.

This religion is religious. They read from a bible, they have priests, they have a leader (they call president) and they pray to pictures. Its very interesting to me on how people can argue and have so much hate over religion, when its all the same shit. But thats for a different day…

So I got this book to read out of called The Lotus Sutra. It had a bunch of words and symbols Ive never seen before. We chanted together for 5 minutes, and I tried to sing along, but couldn’t keep up with their brisk and practiced pace. So I decided to listen and be present and just meditate with them. They stopped after about 5 minutes, and went on to read from the book. Afterwards they went back and started chanting again. This time I could follow along and actually felt the benefits immediately. I could feel the vibration of my voice as well as theirs. It was as if we all became one together. Our tones matched as well as using singing bowls. I loved how much I felt connected at that moment. I even kept going longer than the two girls, and was asked to stop. I was lost in the music and energy flow.

I went back home and decided to read a yoga magazine and keep myself in that vibration, but grew very tired all of a sudden. I couldn’t stay awake and fell back asleep for 2 hours and could barely pull myself together to wake up. It was as if I was under a spell or something. I finally snapped out of it, and felt like myself again.

Overall I do feel the benefits of chanting through out today and really enjoy this feeling. I was invited to go back on Friday when there is a larger group and chant for 2 hours. I am going to go check it out, and will report back to you, my reader.

My thoughts on palm trees

I was thinking about it. Palm trees are so indicative of Los Angeles, they are everywhere. Most streets you go down have palm trees lining the sidewalks. When you think of LA its palm trees. They are tall and skinny and have crazy hair, they all look a bit different but mostly are the same. Its just like people in LA! They have shallow roots and arent even from here. Most people in LA are transplants like myself, I guess I just didnt know that we were all so similar. Image

Wisdom is Love

I was listening to Atlas Sound and the woman kept singing this over and over and it really resinated with me. I have been going through so many changes lately and sometimes I lose wisdom or choose to listen to some other part of me. Its like I have been in a battle with myself for a while now, and overall the wisdom is love. Love is really a special thing that I never really let myself know about. I always hid from it, or put my walls up to block it. I never really knew I did that until recently, when I did finally let some love in. It is magically. I cant believe I have  been missing out on this for my whole life. Its like the wool has been taken off my eyes and I can now see Love and all its splendor that people talk about. I always could understand but never had any idea of what they felt, when I saw madly in love people together. i just always thought they were kinda annoying and showed too much PDA. Now I realize that its infectious when your in love, real love, not lust. When you have such love for someone and share such a bond it just shines. 



Is this a dream?

I cant believe that I actually live in Hollywood. Its weird because its been something I have been planning for so long, but it never felt real until now. I finally packed up the rest of my stuff from Humboldt and brought it to my new house. After I got in last night, I unpacked a bit and made the place feel a bit more homey. Today my cousins and I went to Malibu today to go chill out and enjoy the sun. Its been like 80 degrees down here! Wild! 100 percent the opposite of Humboldt during January. I couldnt be more pleased. I am gonna add some new pics I took while I was out and about. Hope you enjoy them!

Malibu Sunset
It wasnt the best sunset, but it was mighty pretty....



So I moved to Los Angeles last week and I have no idea what to do with myself or for a job or anything, so I decided to just write about it all. I am not going to be boring or anything, but maybe post pictures, or a little something about my day or that I learned.

One of the dopest things I did was go to Malibu the other day and really got to reconnect with the ocean. I stood there feet in the freezing cold water and just let it soothe me and all my worries. Its hard moving from the woods to the city. I feel like I am on vacation, but I am broke and can not do anything. Oh well. Things will change soon enough.

Here are some pics so far..

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