Nothing but free time means…

I recently have realized I am bored. to. death. 

I have been thinking about what I should do with my free time, and I decided to start doing yoga, meditating and going on daily walks..for the first few weeks that seemed to do it. I felt great and was actually keeping a schedule and was busy. Now that time has passed and that  routine is firmly in place, I need something more. My job allows me to have weeks off at a time, even months sometimes, so I needed something until work comes back around. So I decided to start volunteering! Why not right? People need people to help them do things. The problem I came up with was where to start? I first went to KCRW’s winter pledge drive and answered phones. That was fabulous because I got to meet some cool new friends and got a free singed vinyl! I was stoked. It felt great to be out and about. Then after that high left, I felt low again. So after searching the web, I found Volunterrmatch.org. I was looking around and there is just so many different options. 

I was talking with a friend about this and she had mentioned the Hospice program and how cool it would be to sit with people who are about to die, and help them in their last moments. I thought to myself, thats an excellent idea! I know I know it seems really morbid and extra hard, but Im not so sure I agree. I have a really great outlook on death. I think its part of the human experience and its very natural, especially when Hospice is involved. These people know they are dying soon, as do I. Why not sit with them for a while and talk with them, or read a book? I also consider myself to be very positive and have the tendency to make people feel better, so why not share it with the dying? They deserve it too. 

I went to Burbank today and talked with a woman and signed myself up! There isn’t anyone right now, but when someone wants someone like me I will get a call! I hope it comes soon, but yet don’t because that means someone is suffering. Its an odd juxtaposition. 

In the meantime I also reached out to a troubled teen home where they are looking for a poetry teacher. Im not sure I would be such a great teacher on that subject, but I know I would excel at listening and helping these girls. I just hope something comes soon, not only to cure my boredom but so that I can start helping people! 

“5 reasons why a woman will give her number but never answers or returns his phone calls”

I was searching craigslist for a fun part time job and I came across an ad asking for advice column writers. I quickly wrote them an email and got a response pretty quickly asking for me to write an 800+ word column on the topic, 5 reasons why a woman will giver her number out but never answers or returns the call. I sat down, thought about it, wrote it out and sent it in. Afterward I get an email asking me to go to Altadena for a taping to be an audience member, and possibly be hired as a freelance writer. I decided it was a scam and a waste of time, but I still have this information that is mine, so I figured I would share with my blog..So here it is…

 

I was once told by an ex that “women are complicated creatures”. At the time I disregarded this as banter during an argument, but in retrospect, he was right. We are quite complicated. We think about every little detail, are very emotional. Overall, we want things to go perfectly, and that’s where it starts to go downhill for us women. As children we dream of the perfect job, wedding, and family. We spend our lives searching for perfection at every corner, especially when it comes to men. We all have our “dream” relationship in our minds, whether or not we get that is another question. So we spend our time looking for the perfect mate. In the process of finding this mate we have to go through the process of dating. Which is the most complicated process of them all. Men always ask woman for their phone numbers, and most of the time they get them. Now this doesn’t always mean the lady is going to answer the phone or even return your call. Here are five reasons women give out their phone numbers but never answers or returns the phone call.

 

The idea of perfection is just one of many reason why women give out their numbers, or lead men on.  The hunt is a serious game. There is the idea that maybe this one will be the one, finally! So when a single women is out and about and a man approaches her and asks for her number for a split second that idea pops into her head. What if this is the one? Then reality kicks in and the overthinking woman realizes she was being idealistic and there is no way she would date a guy who couldn’t even put an outfit together. Then the guy calls her and she ignores it and hopes he will get the hint and leave her alone. She quickly will go onto the next guy hoping the same thing. This cycle will continue until she is old and alone and realized she never gave anyone a chance due to her need for perfection.

 

Another scenario of why a women doesn’t answer, or return phone calls is because she may have been too drunk when she easily handed her telephone number to a complete stranger. Upon wakening realizes “what did I do last night?” Then her phone rings with an unknown number, she lets it go to voicemail only to hear some dude saying it was nice to meet you, id love to get together sometime. She wonders who is this dude? Then starts to find pieces of memories trickle back into her consciousness and boom! Oh that guy! I don’t even remember what he looks like. Yikes, what did I say to him? Hopefully he gets the hint when I don’t call him back. Delete!  You see the thing is, women like to party and let loose on the weekends too. We like to get together with our girlfriends, get dressed up and paint the town the red. This also means having a few apple martinis or whiskey sours, which both ultimately lead to getting really wasted. She may have blacked out and is embarrassed to talk to you unknowing what really happened last night.

 

Then there is the good old fashioned girl who cant say no to anyone, let alone a guy who approaches her and asks for her number. Throughout history women have been raised to be polite and please everyone no matter the cost. This cost sometimes is a guy who went out of his way to talk to and or impress a woman who is too nice. She will giggle at your jokes, listen to your story about how you decided to change your job and now are unemployed, and of course accept your free drinks. She will do this all while knowing she isn’t interested but just doesn’t know how to tell you. She will continue with this farce maybe once or twice, but ultimately is hoping you will get the hint when she doesn’t return your phone calls.

 

There is also the grass is greener scenario. You may meet a woman and you two hit it off nicely. Everything is going smooth as silk and you feel on top of the world. Then a few days go by and no return call, then you start to wonder why. Well you see later that day she met another guy who made her feel like butterflies were inside and just like that you are gone from her mind. She no longer remembers that joke you told that made her cry, or that flower you picked as you were walking together. This new dude has taken over those parts. She is now obsessed with the latest dude who found her at the laundry mat after your encounter. She then gets your phone call and remembers you even exist, and decides its better to just let it go and not return your call.

 

Last but not least is research. Women are very detail oriented and become the best detectives and lawyers ever when it comes to relationships. You two may have had an awesome conversation and both felt filled with joy to have met this person. But then she goes home and researches you. Google and Facebook are your worst enemies at this point. She searches your name, your job, your page, and your pictures then she judges you. Who are you friends with? Do you drink too much? Do you post bad jokes that are offensive to women? These are all things a woman is spending her time doing. She is figuring out if you are really the guy she just met or not. If it turns out your not the guy she thought, she won’t return your call. She will judge you, and possibly misjudge you, but nonetheless you are not getting a return call.

 

So gentlemen don’t always blame yourself for why women don’t return your calls. She may have met someone else, she may not be strong enough to tell the truth, she may have been drunk and doesn’t remember what you look like. All you can do is try. Be yourself and not too overbearing and the right woman will return your call one day. When that day comes it will be the right time and the right girl.  Good luck out there!

ramble on

The moon shines brightly into my bedroom

its midnight and i just returned home from an evening of artistic treasures. 

Charles Bukowski is my inspiration for these words, as he taught me any thought pure and innocent can and should be written. 

in the reflection of my window I see my paintings.

As they stare at me i am reminded of how i have let that side of me go

I should get back to expressing myself in the painting medium. 

the trees are sillotued by the city lights and the near full moon

the crazes will come out soon enough, as they do every two weeks 

when the moon reaches its brightest. 

the currents are pulled deep as well as our emotions. 

my only wish for this evening is to fall asleep, being as the americana did not sit well. 

Same as it ever was..

I was scanning the internet and saw some shows that are coming up in the Los Angeles area and I got excited about a few bands that are playing reunion shows, etc. This thought is exciting, yet disappointing. I want to be excited to go see bands I haven’t seen since I was in my younger days, but I can’t. This idea seems very silly to me, and I am sure to you as well. Why on earth wouldnt I want to hear music live again from bands I love? Its because its not the same. Nothing is the same as it was 10 years ago, or even 2 days ago. We are ever evolving and our tastes are a large part of that. If I go see a band that I spent a large majority of my 20s going to see, now in my 30s will it be the same? Of course not. It might even be sad to see them older trying to play with the same energy as they had 10 years ago. Trying to keep up with the influx of new listeners eager to hear their words sang live. Even worse I start to think about who will be in attendance. It will surely be a mix of people like me, and younger versions of me and my friends.  Its the evolution of growing up. We get older and think we are still young, until we see the younger versions of ourselves running around town. 

I was flipping through some random music blog and saw pictures from a DJ night, and I swore I knew those people. Hey I know you! You are the same girl I used to see go to the bathroom every 5 minutes to do coke, then come out and dance your ass off! Hey you! The hipster who’s too cool and stands around and has everyone come to you! Or you, yeah you, the dude with the huge beard and tight shirt and even tighter jeans discussing the government and ecological improvements.  Let me just say none of this is a diss, nor is it bad, it just is, and its weird.

Is this just so crazy to me because of where I came from? The society I grew up in? Does technology and having access to the internet and keeping up with people and groups keep everyone being the same? For example older generations blogging and putting up pictures of themselves and their friends, then the younger generation sees those things and becomes that. Its a cycle for sure, and I am sure its happened for hundreds of years in some way, but I feel my generation is different. I feel with all access it keeps us all the same, which in turn is what my generation is trying to avoid. We all want to be individuals and unique, but some how all end up looking and being the same. 

“Time saves no time for no one”-Melissa Culbertson 2012

Raw Emotion…

It’s 12:30 on a Friday. The first day of June is here. I decided to go to the Grove and do a little shopping, come home pay rent and eat some food from my full fridge. I got haggled into buying 60 dollars worth of a dead sea nail kits and have been kinda bummed ever since. I decided to do some research online and it turns out I got extremely ripped off. Warning do NOT buy Seacret nail care collection.

Moving on; so I was sitting here reading Facebook and came across a link to “40 of the most powerful photographs ever taken” I clicked the link and BAM! Got hit in the face with emotion I can not control. These pictures show everything from love, war, protest, bravery, honesty, and most of all raw emotion. 

As I was clicking through these pictures I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be living in a wonderful house in Los Angeles and I get to eat organic, local foods and never ever have had to deal with a disaster. I am so very lucky. People have had to go through some unimaginable things in their lives, and I am worried about spending 60 dollars on nail care. Talk about first world problems. 

I wanted to write this blog to share this gratitude with you and hope to pass it along. We take our everyday lives and people in them for granted, and we shouldn’t. We are blessed everyday to have homes, food, clothes, cars, and even things we never think of like electricity, CLEAN running water. 

Please take a minute or two to reflect on how good you got it. Give thanks to the universe for providing you with everything you need. Check out these pictures if my words alone don’t inspire you. 

Pictures

The creepy old LA zoo..

My cousin Steve and I wanted to hit the beach today, but knew the traffic would be insane, so instead we decided to go to Grffith Park again. We walked on the path that I like which I discussed in this blog, then decided to check out some other spots. We had heard that in Griffith somewhere is an abandoned zoo, so we went on an adventure to find it. It wasn’t the easiest place to find, but we finally went down the right street and hit the parking lot area. There are a lot of benches and picnic tables sitting along side bbq pits. They are only open during the winter due to fire restrictions, but it totally looked like a cool place to have a huge family party or something.

Steve and I saw a really steep hill and decided to follow it up. When we got to the top we saw really cool stone structures that look like it housed lions and bears at some point. I researched this and found out that the zoo was closed because of poor treatment of the animals. After being there I realized how thats very true. The whole place had a creepy, yet cool vibe. I could feel the animals, as well as feeling kids writing graffiti and drinking in these old shelters. 

I took a few pictures Id like to share with you all. ImageImage

 

 

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My visit to Griffith Park

Today I was out running errands with my cousin and my little dog, Sofia. Sofia has been suffering from heart problems over the past few months. Its been hard since we moved to Los Angeles from the redwoods mainly because of the temperature. She has always been affected by the heat, but Humboldt never got past 70 degrees, and if it did the trees provided much needed shade. Down here in LA that is not an option. LA is a desert, dry and hot, two things Sofia does not need. Last month I found out she has a slightly enlarged heart, a murmur and a lung issue. These issues have made it difficult for her to go outside and exercise.

So today we went out and were driving around and I found myself at Griffith Park. I have gone here once before in the dead of summer and it was sweltering hot. I just figured we could drive around and look for a shady area to chill out for a bit. I was pleasently surprised to find this cute little walk way with tons of trees and shading along side a small creek. Its funny because my cousin Steve just moved here from Philadelphia and had just mentioned how he misses creeks, and bam! there was one right next to us! We decided to stroll down this lovely walkway and see all the beautiful sites.

It really felt like we got transformed to a tropical paradise. I completely forgot that I was in Hollywood, and pretended to be in Maui, or even Jamaica. I later came home and looked up this magical place, and found out it was Ferndell Nature Museum. I love that I went an outside museum today.

I think I found my new solace.

Here is a great article from LAIst with pictures and all!

http://laist.com/2010/08/11/cool_walkings_fern_dell_in_griffith.php#photo-1

 

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