New Moon Jan 2018

  1. Last year I was really good at doing intentions for the new moons and following along. I always got what I asked for but didn’t usually do what I intended. I petered off toward the end of the year and didn’t even do a New Years intention. I really fell off. But today I was reminded of a simple practice of writing 10 things you intend for the new moon cycle.

1. Smoke less weed. I originally had wanted to do cold turkey and stop today. I went all day and tried to take magnesium to help calm me naturally and it acted the opposite. It made me more anxious, so I smoked weed. Heavy smoker who is a tad on a manic side with no meds probably shouldn’t stop cold turkey.

2. Eat 5 servings of fruit a week. I’m looking forward to this one! I want to exceed it honestly.

3. Eat more protein shakes! I have so many allergies now that it’s hard to know what to eat, so smoothies is a good plan.

4. Drink 64 ounces of water a day! Duh.

5. Meditate everyday

6. Make a daily gratitude list. I feel like this mixed with the meditation will get me back to a place of positivity.

7. Make peace with the hate in my heart. This one is gonna be big. I have lots of hate and I dislike it! I want to find peace. Hoping the gratitude helps!

8. Talk to your family more. Make it a daily text or chat to keep in better touch.

9. Go to the beach everyday. I am lucky enough to live next to the ocean. I need to go there every single day even if for a minute! Great place to do my gratitude list!

10. Be open to new experiences! I feel stuck in my ways lately and want to be free! So here is to saying yes more than no!

What’s on your list?

Nothing but free time means…

I recently have realized I am bored. to. death. 

I have been thinking about what I should do with my free time, and I decided to start doing yoga, meditating and going on daily walks..for the first few weeks that seemed to do it. I felt great and was actually keeping a schedule and was busy. Now that time has passed and that  routine is firmly in place, I need something more. My job allows me to have weeks off at a time, even months sometimes, so I needed something until work comes back around. So I decided to start volunteering! Why not right? People need people to help them do things. The problem I came up with was where to start? I first went to KCRW’s winter pledge drive and answered phones. That was fabulous because I got to meet some cool new friends and got a free singed vinyl! I was stoked. It felt great to be out and about. Then after that high left, I felt low again. So after searching the web, I found Volunterrmatch.org. I was looking around and there is just so many different options. 

I was talking with a friend about this and she had mentioned the Hospice program and how cool it would be to sit with people who are about to die, and help them in their last moments. I thought to myself, thats an excellent idea! I know I know it seems really morbid and extra hard, but Im not so sure I agree. I have a really great outlook on death. I think its part of the human experience and its very natural, especially when Hospice is involved. These people know they are dying soon, as do I. Why not sit with them for a while and talk with them, or read a book? I also consider myself to be very positive and have the tendency to make people feel better, so why not share it with the dying? They deserve it too. 

I went to Burbank today and talked with a woman and signed myself up! There isn’t anyone right now, but when someone wants someone like me I will get a call! I hope it comes soon, but yet don’t because that means someone is suffering. Its an odd juxtaposition. 

In the meantime I also reached out to a troubled teen home where they are looking for a poetry teacher. Im not sure I would be such a great teacher on that subject, but I know I would excel at listening and helping these girls. I just hope something comes soon, not only to cure my boredom but so that I can start helping people! 

Self Worth

This topic has been coming a lot in my life recently, so I decided to examine the idea of self worth. Otherwise known as self esteem or self respect. This is something we all think of and go, “oh yeah I totally respect myself and know my worth”. But do you really? Do you really believe you are worthy of everything you have and do? Do you really respect yourself at every moment? I know I don’t at all times. There are times when we forget, or we give it up without even noticing. 

Being a human means giving yourself to someone at some time. We give and take. To keep the balance between the two is the goal of life. Balance is what we all achieve to have in every instance, even if we don’t realize it. Sadly most times we don’t at all. We are running around stressed out, while our spouses, children or friends relax. I see this in my family a lot. The woman do everything for everyone, because they feel its their duty to do so. They feel its their calling as mothers and wives. This is an unbalance to the max. Life and its duties should be shared ultimately, and if its not it should be asked for, if you have a good amount of self worth that is. 

Another great example is this; “Hey Melissa! You look lovely today! So good to see you! Did you do something different to your hair? It looks a little crazy! Okay bye” The average person would respond “Oh my gosh thank you very much! Huh? Whats wrong with my hair? Is it okay? What do you mean?” This would then lead down a road of self hate and disapproval, and self consciousness. Why is my question. Why would you take the one negative thing, that possibly isn’t even negative and focus on it. What happened to the you look lovely? What happened to so good to see you? Why do these positive compliments fly right by us, but the negative stick around for so long? 

This is a problem with our society, and has also been so for me. I have made a vow to myself to focus on the positive aspects of myself and the words I hear from others. It seems so basic, but its actually very trying to change the way your brain perceives words. We are trained from a young age to compartmentalize emotions, thoughts and words. Its our duty now to change those paths in our brains and stop suffering from  negativity. Its really no way to live. 

Image

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑